Learning, teaching, building

I teach Communications, Ethics, some Business, and Thai massage at the local massage school.  The last couple weeks I have had the opportunity to be in class more and have been reflecting on the journey of learning.  Liam has been in the classroom since he was 7 weeks old.  When the schedule was being made for the session Liam was to be born in, I told the director my due date.  The last class I taught was Friday, September 11, and Liam was born Monday, September 14, I don't know if I could have planned that any better!

The Communication class is spread out throughout the whole program so sometimes there are big gaps when I won't be with the students.  My maternity leave happened to be during one of these gaps, I wasn't scheduled to comeback to class until the end of October so Liam was ready to join me as my assistant.  When Liam is with Sean or someone else, students will ask where he is, when he is at the school, students will stop to smile, wave, and acknowledge Liam.  He has become a mascot of sorts for the school.  One of the concerns I had when we first found out that Liam may have Down Syndrome was that the public may not know how to handle his diagnosis and I wouldn't be able to handle the public.  I was concerned that we would be pitied, that he would be treated different, that he wouldn't be accepted.  My concerns have been proven false, thank goodness!  More than anything, I think by having him so involved with school, he has learned to be quiet while others are talking (for the most part), to be at ease in large groups of people, and to interact with anyone and everyone.

I have to laugh, when I was in college, the principal of the high school I graduated from bet me a steak dinner I would become a teacher.  At the time I couldn't fathom being stuck in a classroom with a bunch of punk kids trying to teach some subject that the students felt was a waste of time.  I also remember thinking he was probably right, I would end up teaching at some point.  I come from a line of teachers, my mom was an elementary/middle school teacher, my dad ran many trainings in his field, my maternal grandfather was an English teacher, my paternal grandmother went to school to be a teacher, my paternal grandfather was a mechanic teacher, an aunt teaches music lessons, an uncle is a professor, and a distant cousin is a teacher in a foreign country.  Plus, one of my first jobs in high school was teaching ski and snowboard lessons.  What I realize now is that I didn't really enjoy the traditional classroom, the distance that teachers had to maintain because the student-teacher ratio was so high, the lessons that didn't seem to fit into what was happening in real time, and the pain of growing up.
Today the class size is less than 20, the subject matter is all about relationships... with self and others. We sit in a circle so there is no chance for students to hide, there is an air of equality in the room, there is meditation and body movement, there is sharing about experiences, we are all there to learn and teach.  I know I learn from each class, sometimes the lessons are about some weakness in my own belief system, sometimes the lesson is how far I have come in my own journey.

Mom's eyes use to light up when she would talk about her students.  She loved her classes, sometimes not all the students won her heart, but I knew that she cared about each and every one of her classes.  I was baffled by how she could spend so many hours prepping for class, grading papers, dealing with discipline challenges, and teaching the same thing over and over each year.  I couldn't connect with her pure desire to make a space for these punk kids to explore their individuality.  I didn't understand why she had such a difficult time deciding to retire.  Now I understand.  Each of the classes I have had the opportunity to be with has held my heart, they have captured a moment in time.  Some of the students I don't have as easy of a time remembering their story, the class as a whole, however, I remember their story.  Time becomes obsolete when I am in the classroom with the students.  As the students get the ah-ha's there is a welling up that happens, sometime tears will form.  When students are in the middle of the program and they are about to burst because of the pressures from the demands put on them, and I have that feeling they are just about to burst through some bind that holds them back, I get giddy and hold that sacred space for them.  I understand now why Mom couldn't just walk away from decades of teaching, teaching had transformed her as well.  I do wish I could have her here to check in with, to bounce ideas off of, to share student stories.  I am grateful we had some time to be teachers together, I just wish there was more time.

At her memorial there was a message that Mom did many little things that added up to great things.  Like walking every night with a friend added up to thousands of miles.  Showing up daily for work influenced hundreds of kids... and adults.  Driving to Flagstaff each week to capture her dream and finish her teaching degree gave her kids a role model to reach for their dreams- Engineer, Ecologist Guide, and Healer/Teacher.  As Liam explores his world and individuality Mom reminds me that the best lesson I can teach Liam is that when he falls and gets a bump, like today, I will be near to soothe and will help him to reach for his dream, or the top of the stairs.  I guess, I better pay up my end of the bet.