Happy Autumn! Can you believe that we are at the end of October already?!? The leaves are starting to fall and the nights are starting to dip into the 40s and upper 30s. The farms north of town have had freezes already, and we threaten to have a fire here at the house. We do have the heaters on at night. The days have been pleasant Arizona days, up into the upper 70s and mid 80s, the sun is taking its time to rise and wake us and is rushing to set into nightfall, so we know we have had a shift in seasons.
Liam is 2!! We had a sweet gathering for him at a local park where he was able to run from one person to the next and gather as many hugs as he could. In the first 15 minutes of arriving at the park, he tried to step down a bit higher of a step than he realized and took a tumble, thank goodness he had a graceful fall and I was close enough to grab him so he only had a little scratch on his forehead. We have entered the teetering toddlerhood for sure! I am learning to act quick, do my best to stay neutral, and do Bowen moves as soon as I can, I think we are navigating pretty well. The going question in the house is, "Are you alright?"
Early September we went to California to celebrate Sean's birthday, our anniversary, and Liam's birthday. Liam had so much fun in the ocean! He needed some reassurance at first and then after a while he caught the rhythm of the waves and would charge the water and let the water chase him back to the beach. What a delight! He was exhausted at the end of the day and though I wish I could have let him sleep all night, I knew there was sand in all sorts of unwanted places so we had to put him in at the bath. I think that was the quickest bath we have done he was so tired and unhappy to be woken up for such a deep slumber. 
This month we had the opportunity to head north to Williams for a night and hike around Bill Williams. Liam and I had Friday afternoon to go visit a couple of friends in the community. Each time I head up there I feel a little bit more of my heart healing. I miss my mom on those trips and I feel her presence even more too. There is more space for memories to come back and so there feels like there is an ability to explore how life is today without her. Liam had a blast at the library taking books off the shelf and finding all sorts of things to get into. We also stopped by an art festival that was happening and visited with some artist friends. Liam had the chance to try out $3500.00 wind chimes and we can boast, Liam has GREAT expensive taste! He also charmed his way into playing with a couple of hats. Liam loves hats! He loves to let us know that someone has a hat, and then he likes to get the hat off its owner to maybe kidnap the hat for a walk, put the hat on near by person, or if the hat is very well worn, chew on the hat. He isn't so excited to have the hat on himself, but the public doesn't know this about Liam, they think he when he is excited about their hat he must want to try it on, hence the charming. He even received his very own cowboy hat for his birthday and his favorite place for the hat is on someone else's head. 
We made our way up to the top of Bill Williams Mountain to soak in the falling leaves. I am always taken back by the flood of memories the drive brings with it. Memories of family hikes, staying in the cabin (when there was a cabin), picking Dad up after a shift, hikes with friends, the magic the mountain contained for a young child's imagination. We stopped at the Clover trail pull out and walked down a ways. I just can't get over the cellular magic I feel walking and exploring the mountain. And what a gift to have the 3 (almost 4) of us experiencing the soothing nature of the trail. On the way up we decided to give Liam a chance to 'hike'. My heart was so happy knowing that my parents more than likely did the same thing with me. Liam seems to have grabbed the love of nature both Sean and I hold and that is a wonderful feeling, I also know in the years to come he may like computers better and we will navigate that too. For now, we bask in the moment that he seems to beam being out in nature. 
We have a friend who has given me permission to celebrate Halloween more as a season than a one day event. I guess I have always enjoyed Halloween but because there was so much pressure to make the one day special, I never really allowed myself to get into the spirit. Now, there is so much fun to be had. We were invited to a birthday party at the beginning of the month with the option to dress formal or in costume. I have a trusty witches hat and black cape that was made for me in college so I went as a witch. I found a cute lion outfit for Liam and that seemed to be a hit, especially because he does such a great roar. The true costume desire was to have Liam be Popeye and Sean and I be characters to support Popeye. Mom did such a great job with costumes when we were growing up, I don't think I could appreciate the time and dedication she put into making the costumes by hand... until now. Liam's costume needed to be made, I couldn't justify buying a commercial costume that would maybe be worn twice. The Popeye costume took a couple of weeks of hand sewing (I didn't have the confidence to machine sew this project) the pieces together. The finished project was a hoot!
We were able to dress up for a Halloween party the local Sharing Down Syndrome chapter had. The party was a thank you to the community members who helped the older kids in Special Olympics and as a get together for Sharing Down Syndrome. The family who hosted has a mini farm on their property so we were able to feed the animals, participate in carnival activities, and Liam's favorite, be with people. People have asked why Popeye, well, Liam started making a face a couple of months ago and it reminded us of Popeye so we ran with the idea. He knows what the 'Popeye face' is and will make it (for the most part) on demand. Last year he was practicing a 'Scary face' and that is what gave the idea to darken his eyebrows and put him in a skeleton suit. I figure this is the best inspiration around! 
I am grateful for the chance to share all of these wonderful moments, they do help to remind me how fruitful our lives are. The pieces that are at a standstill are around Liam and his eating, or lack of. We have done everything we can, and now we have to wait some more to get help with Liam's feeding. Insurance and DDD can't seem to agree who should be helping us with getting Liam into the feeding therapy at Phoenix Children's Hospital and the hospital hasn't returned my calls to find out what the cost would be to pay out of pocket. Now with 12 weeks to go before Liam's little brother arrives, I am less invested in getting him into the 6 week therapy program. We do have a meeting between the Physical Therapist, the Speech Therapist, and the DDD coordinator in a couple of weeks to discuss our next steps of action so there maybe a way to get Liam in before Baby brother arrives. This has been such a huge lesson in patience, perseverance, and using my voice to advocate for what Liam deserves. And what we are learning from the other parents is that this is just the beginning. Thank goodness for all the support we have on this journey! 
